I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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