I have demons in me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize