i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize