she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
dude. I can hear the air.
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