I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize