why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize