8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
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I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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