If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
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My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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