Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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