Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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