I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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