it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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