I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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