we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
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He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
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Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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