My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
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She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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