So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize