Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize