if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
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that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
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I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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