i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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