There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize