I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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