she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
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I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
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I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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