cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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