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her vagine was all disorganized.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
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