tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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