she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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