You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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