so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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