I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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