that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
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I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
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I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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