I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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