It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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