She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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