Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize