weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dude i'm inner monologue high
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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