I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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