It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
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It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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