i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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