So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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