You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize