his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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