just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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