I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize