im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize