well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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