Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
jump out the window naked night went bad
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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