it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize