Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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