I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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