Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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